Just Learning How to Smile

By Cayleigh, March 3, 2018

“…Why there is no perfect place, yes I know this is true, I’m just learning how to smile, and that’s not easy to do…”

I’ve begun to wonder if the full moon tonight has had and effect on my mood all week. My anxiety has been extremely high and it’s been really hard to keep my thoughts straight and in order. I’m at this spot in my life, where I know what I want (well, I think. I am a girl) and just so impatient. it’s throwing me off and seems the tears don’t want to stop coming. It’s so frustrating!

I’ve often said depression and anxiety are the second hardest things I’ve done in my life. I know how bad it hurts me, and i feel awful for the people around me that it hurts. And that kills me even more. But I am so grateful for those who continue to love me and put up with me. Trying to change the way my mind thinks after many, many years of being told and thinking the way I do now. Most things come pretty easy to me (except Math. Fuck you Math) and this…this isn’t coming easy either. Which adds to the problem. One of my favorite bands is Everclear, and I was listening to Pandora the other day, and their song, “Learning How to Smile” came on, and I just thought…this is so me right now.

<3, Cay

Body: Maitreya Lara
Head: Catwa – Uma
Skin: YS & YS – Susanna, Tone 2
Ears: Mandala – Steking Season 5
Hair: Truth – Athena, Blonde (September 2017 group gift)
Dress: Tee*fy – Angela Dress, Glitters (currently available at Uber)
Shoes: Empire – Larkspur
Tattoo: White Widow – Unsane (currently available at Uber)
Rings: EarthStones – Hearts & Flowers Bento Rings
Choker: Real Evil – Simone Heart Collar

Location: Ethereal City

What do you think?

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